Anyway, the sucky thing is, the nurse faxed my referral over to the imaging place, however, there’s apparently no mention of which compartments in the wrist the doctor wants the dye to be injected into.  I guess there’s different compartments in there and depending on where you have pain, that’s where they inject the contrast dye and if it leaks out, you have a tear in that ligament.  So, because the imaging place has no “orders” on what they’re specifically going to do, they had to call the doc and verify things, which means I have to call back tomorrow to make my actual appointment.  PITA, I tell ya.

I don’t see how this MRI arthrogram *wouldn’t* show anything going on in there.  It’s not any better, and in fact, seems to be getting worse.  It’s not sharp pain, but more diffuse pain, however, it’s more constant now, and sometimes goes up into my arm and elbow.  And my hand gets SO TIRED.  Things are just wrong in there.  My DRUJ clunks together (where my ulna meets my radius) and my hamate bone pokes further into my palm than my other one, and my lunate feels twice as big as it is whenever I bend my wrist forward and back. (Probably from the puffy swelling going on in there.)  Here’s a pic of where the bones are if you want to know which bones I’m talking about.  No, this isn’t my wrist:

My hand still feels like I’m typing under water.  The weird boneless feeling I had when I got out of the cast has mostly gone away so I guess that was the reason.  But I can just feel the weakness in there.  It’s weird.  But the pain is definitely getting worse.  So here’s hoping this MRI tells all.

~~Becka

http://www.rebeccagoings.com/westerns/ride-the-lightning/

OMG, I’m wiping tears away. Ima run right out and buy me a Slap Chop and a ShamWow right now!!!!!!1one

“It’s the ShamWow, you’ll be saying ‘Wow!’ every time.”

“You’re gonna love my nuts.”

Oh my GAWD!!!

~~Becka, who is bonding with her inner 12 year old.

Those of you who’ve been waiting to read my dragon-shifter fantasy, KINDRED, wait no longer!  It’s available for purchase now at Champagne Books!

http://www.champagnebooks.com/books/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=19_5&products_id=369

http://www.rebeccagoings.com/fantasy/kindred/

WOOHOO!!

~~Becka

I was right when I said I think I have a negative ulnar variance, however, he says he believes it happened when I broke my wrist as a child and the bone didn’t grow correctly.  Because the ulna is shorter, it’s less likely the TFCC will tear, as a positive variance, when the ulna is longer than the radius, can poke through the thin membrane of the ligament.  However, he didn’t rule it out completely, because it’s altogether possible I tore my TFCC YEARS ago, and it has since degenerated, or has torn again due to my mysterious trauma in December of pushing myself up off the couch.

He wasn’t convinced any of my other ligaments holding the wrist bones together were torn either, as I didn’t yell and scream in pain while he was manipulating the joint.  It was uncomfortable, and I told him there was a dull ache, but nothing sharp and breath-taking.

He still wants the MRI, though, as that will definitively prove or rule out any ligament tears.  They will shoot my wrist up with contrast dye in a few key compartments and if the dye leaks out of these compartments, then a tear is present.  Of course, as with all health care red tape, I need to have the MRI approved by my insurance before I can get it done.

In the meantime, because my mother has Rheumatoid Arthritis, he ordered a blood test to rule that out as well.  Normally, RA manifests over time, but there are cases where a sudden onset of symptoms can flare up with no warning.  And due to the fact my wrist is a bit swollen with fluid, he wants to rule that out as well.  I was able to get my blood drawn before I left the hospital, so that was good.  Still won’t have the results for that for a few days.

Hopefully my insurance won’t deny my MRI.  How much would that suck?!

But even the ladies in the lab drawing my blood were singing my doctor’s praises, along with my physical therapist.  The guy was very nice, he listened to my questions and wasn’t in a rush.  I really like him.  And he’s moving his office closer to Hillsboro; bonus! 

At this point, though, I’m rooting for a ligament tear over the arthritis.  If it’s something that can be fixed with a suture as opposed to, “Sorry lady, you’re f**ked.”, then I’m all for it!

In the meantime, I’ve gotta hurry up and wait.  Again.

Wrist Saga, Chapter Eleventy.

~~Becka

Everyone has that “fat pad” on the underside of their arm that runs in the middle of the wrist.  You can see it in the picture as the bump under my veins.

Now, take a look at my ouchy left wrist:

Same hand flexion, about as 90 degrees as I can get it.  You’ll notice my “fat pad” in the middle of my wrist is bumpy.  Also, the dark spot next to it is a depression that shouldn’t be there.  Eww, I know.  But if I’m going to document this saga, gotta take pics of the nasty, right?

Also, the interesting part is, I’m now showing classic signs of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  I’ve NEVER had this before and do not have it in the other hand.  Tapping on the middle of my wrist shoots pins and needles into my fingers, as well as tapping on the radial side of my wrist shoots pins/needles into my thumb.  My physical therapist said it’s likely the inflammation is putting compression on my nerves.  Interesting, since my nerve test in January was normal.  Getting worse before it gets better?  Hmm…

Anyone else with a TFCC tear see a visible difference in their wrists?  Before you had surgery?

~~Becka

Here’s hoping they like it!  Bonus if they buy it – I know it’ll have a kick-ass cover.    Third time’s a charm?  We shall see.

~~Becka

Hmm.  Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

BUT I’M NOT GIVING UP!

~~Becka

Since I’m obsessed with reading and writing westerns these days, I figured it would be stupid of me to ignore that call.  Being one of the premier western authors for Carina would kick ass.  Of course, if they don’t like the book, I’ll send it to Samhain.  I’m thinking even if they reject it, Samhain is an excellent publisher I would be proud to publish this book.

I still haven’t heard back on either of my submissions.  I’m still waiting for word on THE FALL OF JERICHO from Carina and RIDE THE LIGHTNING from Samhain.

On a personal note, I’m feeling a bit down in the tooth lately.  My wrist problems are really worrying me, mostly because this stupid injury keeps getting worse it seems.  I feel like I can’t see that darned hand surgeon soon enough.  What really pisses me off is the fact I didn’t do anything to facilitate it.  I didn’t fall, wasn’t playing sports, didn’t torque anything heavy.  I’m beginning to think I actually tore my TFCC 22 years ago when I broke my wrist as a kid, and all these years later, some random “straw” broke the camel’s proverbial “back”.  For the life of me, I can’t remember my pain levels in the days after I got my cast off as a kid.  I DO remember the hellish pain of tweaking my wrist so they could take the necessary x-rays.  I remember the pain of having to stretch my thumb so it sat a special way in the cast.  I remember the bastard doctor forcing my wrist to bend 90 degrees up and down mere minutes after my cast came off.

I’m freaking out a bit, because I know I’ll need some kind of surgery to solve this problem.  Regardless if I need something minor or major, the fact remains something needs to be done.  I can’t just live like this.  Not with the evolving pain.

Good news is, my elbow is much better, and just feels like a pulled muscle in my upper and lower arm now.  I can fully extend it without a problem.  Wrist though, is still stiff and sore.  Probably because I’m still mostly wearing the brace.  I take it off many times a day to flex a bit, just to get my range of motion back somewhat, but I can’t be without it for long.

What does this mean for my writing?

Good question.  Well, I obviously cannot write for long stretches like I used to.  I can write in short bursts.  Maybe I’ll concentrate on some short stories.  Or perhaps I’ll just take a tad longer to write a full one.  I do know I can edit, add, delete stuff to existing stories without a problem.

Maybe Someone Upstairs knew this injury was coming and that’s why I was inspired to write eight stories last year.

This sucks.  If I can get well within a few months, I’ve still got the rest of the year, right?  RIGHT?!?

SIGH.

~~Becka

~*~*~

Recently Becka stopped by my blog for a visit and she brought up one of my all time favorite subjects. Cowboys.

It’s no wonder I have a series in the works about…what else? Cowboys. I’ve been having so much fun meeting the five sinfully gorgeous brothers, asking them questions, learning what drives them.

There’s just something about those handsome men on horseback that makes a girl go…well, to tell the truth, a little wild. For someone who loves all her conveniences, and yes, hot water and high heels are a must, I have to admire someone who’s rugged and rough as the land. Perhaps it’s just my idea of what a cowboy should be, rather than what they are or who they were.

Nah.

I think for a man to ride the land, he must be in touch with the land. He must respect both the land and the animals that provide his lively hood. They ride beasts and stare down danger, brave the elements. Tell me you haven’t thought of taming one, at least once.

And seriously, what woman doesn’t love a man who knows his way around leather? Chaps? Yes, please!

Or how about the ropes? This guy could hog tie me any old time.

So here’s to all the cowboys out there. The ones in real life and the heroes in our stories. Do you have a favorite fictional cowboy? I want to hear all about him.

~Selena
http://www.selena-blake.com